Oh, hello there. Today is definitely far more stabby than last week. For one, I’m no longer basking in the beach life. BOO!!! For two, I have 1,367,984 things to do before we hit the road again on Friday. Also, my son is turning 21 today at 6:15pm, and I’m not there. DOUBLE BOO!!!

But… we shouldn’t let trivial things like not being in the same city stop us from celebrating. Say it with me now:

🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊 HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLAN!!! 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

Now, let’s wait until the college student awakes to public birthday posts, and gets to feel stabby for his very own reasons today 😂 In the meantime, let’s have some stabnanigan fun, shall we?

Make Out: Can I just make out with these sprayed edges? Because, I love them.

Marry: Honestly, the only character worth anything is Tash. So marry me babe.

Murder: Alright, this book wasn’t a favorite of mine. I DNF at 100 pages. So pick a character (except Tash) and stab away.

Make Out: Poor, awkward Zacharias. He deserves all the smooches.

Marry: Prunella. For so many reasons, this delightful sorceress wins my heart.

Murder: I’m going to have to say, most of the men in this world are sexist, chauvinistic, and totally deserve to be stabbed. Repeatedly.

Make Out: British accent? ✅ Charming? ✅ Adorably loyal and rebellious? ✅ Henry, you sweet cinnamon roll you, let’s totes make out.

Marry: Okay, so it may be weird, but I just want to marry that rambunctious little baby elephant. I mean, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

Murder: Mara. She’s just, ugh. Stabville for sure.

Very fun, very smart fantasy. Let’s smooch.

Love, love, love this book SO MUCH!!! Plus, baby elephants. I mean, who wouldn’t marry this book?!

I never thought I’d murder stained edges, but alas, here we are…

Thanks for playing alone today! And for those of you wishing my baby boy a wonderful birthday, thank you for that as well!!!

We’ll see you all next week!!! It’s going to be murder on the lake. I can’t wait!